Go Ahead and Accept Help With Your Event Planning — Your Future Self Will Thank You

For many, this meme rings painfully true: “I don’t always stress out about wedding planning, but when I do, it’s 1 a.m., and I have to be up at 6 a.m.”

No matter how excited you are about your upcoming wedding, preparing for it can be tiring and even overwhelming at times. The same is true for organizing any major event, from your parents’ anniversary party to your family’s multi-generational reunion. Event planning is stressful, and one of the best things you can do for yourself is to ask for help.

UK wedding and event planner Katrina Otter wrote frankly about the realities of planning stress in a blog for Love My Dress: “Now, as someone who likes to be organised (a border-line control freak), I completely understand that letting go of your plans isn’t always easy but, as someone who’s spent years planning numerous weddings (including my own), I’m here to tell you that handing over some of the planning responsibilities is essential. You can’t do it all and you absolutely shouldn’t have to — your wedding day won’t be any better if you’ve run yourself ragged, and you definitely won’t enjoy your wedding anywhere near as much if you’re trying to manage the day itself.”

Exactly.

Even people who plan events for a living are encouraged to delegate some tasks to their team members. Why? One person simply can’t do everything. And if they try, something is going to suffer.

“Even when you want to take it all on because you love your work so much… it is just not possible,” EventMB, an online resource for event professionals, explained in a recent blog. “There are too many moving parts to make it all happen. You need to be the one with the plan and the vision, but you have to delegate out the proper tasks to the right staff and volunteers.”

Note two key points the blog makes here: Delegation is most successful when you select who to enlist and what tasks to give them strategically.

That’s exactly what this article is going to help you do.

Let’s start with who to seek help from before tackling how to approach volunteers and what they can do to ease your workload.

Choose Wisely

“Let me know what I can do to help.” Chances are good someone you know is going to say this when they learn you’re engaged or planning an event. While you should be open to delegating your to-dos, I wouldn’t recommend a knee-jerk, “I’m so glad you asked” to every offer you get.

“Delegating to the friends and family who are simply available isn’t always smart,” event planner Rhiannon Bosse of Rhiannon Bosse Celebrations told MarthaStewart.com. “Try to think of the most responsible, courteous, organized, and quick-thinking guests to lend a hand.”

Depending on what you need, consider people who can contribute specific skills or talents.

“Do you have a friend who is particularly creative or artistic? You might ask for his or her help with a design element or two,” Wisconsin wedding venue, RiverStone, suggested in a recent blog. “Do you have a parent who is super organized? Consider asking them to track your RSVPs. Capitalize on the skills and interests of your people! It will make the process more enjoyable and the outcome so much more beautiful!”

Don’t Share the Stress

If you are going to ask for or accept help, consider the needs of your volunteer helpers. Give them the time (avoid last-minute requests) they’ll need to be successful and avoid the kind of late-night anxiety that inspires wedding-planning memes.

And be reasonable with your requests.

“When delegating any sort of wedding-planning task beyond the role of a hired professional, it’s important the job be as simple and risk-free as possible,” Bosse said. “Your family and friends’ role on your special day is to be present with you. Having them carry the weight of responsibility beyond their traditional duties can make it a stressful day for everyone involved.”

Another suggestion: Make sure your volunteers know they’re appreciated: Send them thank-you notes or select special gifts for them.

The Art of Delegation

While wedding delegation isn’t necessarily the same as sharing responsibilities in a work setting, some basic principles hold true for both. One particularly important key to success is clear communication, Lauren Landry wrote in a Harvard Business School blog for managers.

“Before anyone starts working on a project, they should know what they need to complete and by when,” Landry explained.

In a blog about delegating party planning tasks, health and wellness expert speaker Amber Shaw suggested listing your tasks and then deciding which ones could be reasonably be done by someone else. A good rule-of-thumb is to leave the more complicated tasks for yourself, she said.

“In order have it be helpful that others are pitching in instead of causing more problems, just delegate the simple tasks that are more or less busy work. For example, you can design the invitations yourself, but mailing them out is usually something someone else can do. Perhaps your spouse is able to help with writing down messages from the caterer and other people, or your sister will be the one taking your shopping list and picking up the supplies you need. Again, it’s the small things that add up to stress!”

Here are a few more simple tasks to consider delegating:

• Envelopes: Not only can volunteers take save-the-date and invitation mailing duties off of your plate, but before that, they can stuff and stamp envelopes for you.

• RSVPs: Ask a volunteer to keep track of who is and isn’t attending. Consider having them organize the information (meal choices, plus-ones, etc.) in a spreadsheet or with an app.

• Errands: From picking up your dress to delivering signage to your venue, a trusted volunteer can handle these to-dos.

• Driving: Ask your volunteer(s) to pick up guests from the airport.

• Checking in with vendors: Get help calling your vendors, from the florist to your deejay, and making sure everything is good to go on the big day.

• Organizing place cards: A reliable volunteer, working with your seating charge, can organize place cards by the table.

• Helping your photographer: At the event, volunteers can round up items for shots — maybe they’ll be capturing an image of the wedding rings or the “something borrowed, something blue.” Your helper can also help round up family members for pictures.

With trusted volunteers on duty, you’ll be able to accomplish more, minimize your stress, and hopefully…sleep better at night.

About the Author:

Roger Igo is the founder and CEO of special events venue, The Bell Tower on 34th, along with Houston catering service Excellent Events, and research resource, Venues in Houston. He is the author of “Keep On Going, The History of The Bell Tower on 34th,” a former radio host, a graduate of CEO Space International, and an alumnus of The Disney Institute.